It would help if families who write the obits include the cause of death. Some do: "massive heart attack," "valiant bout with cancer," "automobile accident," etc. But when someone in their 20s to 50s dies, and no cause is listed, I wonder. What tragedy cut that life short? If it doesn't say, I'm left to speculate: drug overdose, suicide, HIV related causes, something out of the ordinary that took a life way too soon and embarrassed a family. Obviously, thirty-something-year-olds don't generally die peacefully in their sleep.
Funny thing is, I have been at death's door twice. The first time I didn't really believe it. Even when the doctors explained how sick I was, it didn't register. I always planned to get better and did--quickly (partly because I didn't realize how sick I was before). The second time, I knew I was in trouble. I even got my surgeon to move up our "appointment" because I was afraid I couldn't hold on any longer (he later told my husband that they had already waited nearly too long--I was a mess). But again, I planned to heal. I still had a teenager at home who needed me. Looking back I can see how very lucky I am to be this old.
Still, I think I'll try to make sure I write my own obituary (if reading the newspaper is any indication, I need to do it now). My sons or hubby may want to edit a little, but I'll make sure it includes the cause of my death so readers like me don't have to speculate. I'm hopeful that it will just be "causes incident to old age."
3 comments:
i read obituaries also, and note their ages. the young ones will usually say if its an accident or illness. if nothing is said, i assume it's a suicide. i've written my obituary, it's an interesting thing to do, along with my suggested program for the funeral and gave my son a copy who would take charge. also got two burial plots in utah valley paid for. it really helps this pre-planning. my mom who died a year and half ago had everything planned for and paid for which made it so much easier.
Oh dear..I admire that, but not ready to do that myself yet even though I don't expect to live to a ripe old age....not ready to write the ending yet...
I'm with Michelle. I don't think I'm quite ready to write an obit for myself. However, I have files in my computer with photos of my husband, me and my kids, just in case. It is unsettling to have people younger than us pass away suddenly. Our dear friend just passed away recently and we're still trying to accept it.
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