I have a couple of different types of friends--none of whom would waltz into my kitchen unannounced and take food. 1) I have friends from my youth: kids (huh? oh, people) I grew up with and have history with, even though I don't see them often. When we do get together there is enough in our pasts to keep us connected. 2) I have friends from work: colleagues, people I saw daily and grew to admire and appreciate. I think they can be more transitory, because as work changes so do your connections, but some friendships are worthy of cultivation. 3) I have had friends from neighborhoods, but again, if someone moves away, those tend to slip away too.
My husband and I have no real friends in common, no couple friends. When we do things with other couples it is usually family members, although growing up in a small town, classmates and cousins are sometimes the same people. Are we unusual? Abnormal?
Wait, maybe I don't want an answer to that.
7 comments:
I'm so excited for you that you'll be in Hawaii in December, Jo. Kauai is such a beautiful island. My aunt lives there, too but I haven't seen her in a while. Interisland flights are so expensive these days. However... I don't know... but maybe the interisland ferry will be in operation. That's supposed to be a lot cheaper.
About friends... I'm really missing my friends in Illinois. Now that we're here for good, it's funny but I've not been seeing our friends here as much. I guess there's no hurry because they're figuring we're not leaving.
Have you noticed that "Friends", "Seinfeld" and other shows like them involve single people?? In my late teens and early to middle twenties, I had friendships much like those on both of the programs mentioned above. Our lives were very intertwined and we shared one anothers, clothes, food, secrets and cars with one another freely.
I grew up... entered into a commited, marital relationship, and my loyalties changed. I wouldn't have dreamt of talking about some of the more...ummm... personal aspects of "US". I still have a girldriend and a sister-in-law that I can sit and visit with forever over a cup of something hot, or a glass of something cold, and feel completely safe to express any thought. It's a blessing to have friends like that... but, I find that with my sweet, albeit sometimes frustrating, hubby and my four grown children... they are no longer as vital to my sense of well being as they once were. They are still, however, very important, and comforting. Friendship is a real need for most of us. I think reaching out to people we may never meet face to face, is an effort to fulfill the desire for friendship that is a part of each of us. I've often been surprised at how excited I get over something that happens in the life of one of you. And how much I look forward to hearing more about your lives and ideas. It's a nonthreatening way to share ourselves and stick our toe in the water to see how well our thoughts may be accepted by others.
I never watched Seinfeld but my sister talked of it incessantly … so I sort of have a feeling for the behavior of the characters. I have no friends like the ones you described in the opening paragraph. My friends fall into categories like yours … and the older I get, the smaller those groups become … but I do meet new folks all the time. I’m not sure there IS a ‘normal’ for such things. We each have whatever relationships we’ve nurtured … and there are probably reasons for this that would surface upon reflection.
Hugs and blessings,
Caryn, I'm sure you're right. I've been married my whole life (my husband's favorite phrase); that's why I have never cultivated that kind of friends. Aren't you the smart one.
This is a great post, interesting and thought-provoking. I could not imagine friendships like the ones on the shows you mentioned. I lean more toward "a few good friends".
Through blogger I now have a whole new group/kind of friends, cyber-friends. Everyday I look forward to seeing who said what or who posted what on their blogs.
I thought I had posted.. Hmm..slipping. I never watched Seinfeld but I got the general idea and I have never had friends like that. When I stopped working, those people kind of went away as I didn't have anything in common anymore except for a good friend I have had for 25 years....
I have three treasured friends who would walk in my kitchen and eat my food. I don't knock when I enter their homes in the daytime, but if I go in the evening when their husbands are home, I knock. They are some of my treasures.
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