Commercials are killing me...

Commercials are so killing me. "How do you Sizzler?" "Do you Kohl's?" "To be incredible, eat incredible."

I guess now that we've given up on adverbs, we can use proper nouns however we choose.

Apparently I Toyota while hubby GMCs. I Apple, he Lenovos. Oh, yesterday my mother, sister and I Red Lobstered.

It does eliminate the need for verbs.

I don't know about others, but these changes in our language are awfully tough for me to take. We are losing a lot of the art of thoughtful communication.

Tattoos for everyone?

Tattoos aren't just for rebellious youngsters anymore. Sure, there are the butterflies on the shoulder, dragons on the calf, who knows what on the arms (just watch an NBA game); however, some adults are going in another direction.

I know a number of people who have, or are considering, tattoos on their faces. Mind you, these are women. Some in their 40's, some older. As you may have guessed, it's permanent makeup. The younger ones are perhaps tired of the need for daily "enhancements" to look as youthful as they feel. Maybe, like the women in movies and on television, they want to wake up looking good. It has always bugged me that women on television always have mascara and glossy lips--after sleeping, after whatever.

As we age, menopause readjusts our hair growth. We lose eyebrows and eyelashes, gain mustaches and chin hair. Getting rid of hair is easier than growing it where we want it. I can see the benefit in permanent eyebrows--I'm not crazy about how mine look right now. Mom is considering having hers done, she's only worried that they'll be in the right place. She doesn't want to have a permanent look of surprise, or lop-sidedness. It's not exactly something you can wash off.

As for me, I'm stuck with makeup. Needles and anticoagulants are not good company. It is kind of too bad; I'd like some really nice eyebrows and eye liner.

Golfing and Computing

I've had a couple of reminders lately that I'm not exactly a spring chicken. Sometimes when I glance in the mirror, I see myself as I feel--adult, capable, but ....youthful. Then, life gives me a small reminder that while I may be adult and (mostly) capable.....ah

I've had my second golf lesson. The young man helping me was very sweet and gave me lots of positive reinforcement about what I was doing. However, the next day I had a sore muscle or two in places where I didn't realize I had muscles. I guess that happens to new golfers no matter what the age and I count any muscle usage as helpful. Next time we're going to try using a wood. Oh dear, I hope I can find the proper muscles for that.

I had another lesson about the ins and outs of my MacBook Pro. They are very helpful and there are many shortcuts and tricks that I would never have known about without the Apple Store's experts. The Apple word processing program is called Pages, and it is another reason I felt my age.

I learned to TYPE--on a manual typewriter. Later, I was thrilled to work on electric typewriters, and when I worked at the college I had an IBM Selectric, with a correction key. That was SO cool. I got so I would type along, realize I'd made a mistake and correct it without looking away from my copy. The error was lifted and replaced, slicker than slick.

WORD PROCESSING came along later, while I was teaching, and it was terrific. You could see everything before you had to put it to paper. Correcting was a snap.

But the word processing software got more complex. As I have fought with various programs, Microsoft Word for Windows has made me the craziest. It tried to give me way more help than I wanted. Pages is at least as "helpful." I was telling my Apple instructor how frustrating that can be for a person who typed, and the woman having a lesson across the counter heard me and seconded my comment. As it turns out, she was just a couple of years older and understood completely. If I want to make a list by using tabs, I think I should be able to. Apparently, if an item on my list is longer than the others, that confuses the program. I should ask the Pages software to insert a list. Then request that it stop using a list when I'm ready to go back to the paragraph form.

I know that the youngsters who grew up word processing don't understand my struggle. That's okay, there's still plenty I don't understand either.

Golf Lessons

This afternoon I'm heading for my first golf lesson. I'm trying not to give in to natural trepidation about learning a new physical skill, but it's a bit scary.

When I was in school (I used to tell students that it was just after the dinosaurs had died off), there were NO competitive sports for girls: no basketball, no softball, no volleyball, no swimming, no track and field, no golf. Drill team was the closest and it was far less physically challenging than the things high school groups do now. Therefore I will never know if I could have been good at any of them. Now, I throw like a girl (a small one), I can sometimes hit a softball (not to the outfield), and I'm not a confident swimmer (I blame that on contact lenses).

However, some lovely ladies/neighbors occasionally play and they invited me to join them. Why not? They seem to do it more for fun and companionship than competition, and I have the time now. I am planning on a 4-lesson plan and I have no illusions about being a terrific golfer at this stage, but it want to be able to hit the ball so it goes generally forward.

I'll let you know how things go.