So often I hear, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy...," without so much as a glance at the child. One day I counted 12 times as the mother was too involved in what she was doing to acknowledge her child. Now it was probably true that what the child needed was not earth-shaking, but how important must he/she feel when mommy is so difficult to reach. Worse than that, though, are the threateners, the arm jerkers, the snappers who drag tired children through store after store and expect perfection. I am always offended by parents who refuse to buy a small candy or toy for a patient child while filling their carts with expensive energy drinks, beer, and cigarettes.
Sometimes, however, I see conversations. I overhear discussions about which cereal would be best, which aisle contains the tomato juice, or what kind of apples to buy. I see parents and children engaged. Those warm my heart.
As children are listened to, their opinions considered, their choices allowed, they gain a vital sense of importance and worth. It gives them a sturdy foundation, a confidence in themselves. Even before I became a teacher and saw the various ways parents could hamper children's development, I knew that talking TO kids was vital.
They understand more than you think they do and they know more than most people give them credit for. My mother (and her mother) knew that too.
8 comments:
I agree. what's cool is when kids help make the shopping list and discuss with mom the various choices and differences in prices with different labels-a whole lesson on economics just with a shopping trip.
You're right. It can be a pleasure to watch.
Absolutely, Jo! I agree with you 100% I've heard and seen the same thing. I'm always so glad to hear my own daughter talk to her child calmly, firmly and lovingly at stores and everywhere else. Phew!
Excellent point, and well said. A child needs to feel his/her words are worth hearing. I'm always disgusted with the empty threats aimed at misbehaving children: "If you don't stop that, I'm going to...." The child knows darned well the parent won't follow through on the threat, so the behavior persists. Children need to know specific boundaries.
Oh, you are so right! I tried to do a good job with my kids, and I am so pleased to see my daughter doing an even better job with hers.
Jo, you are so right! Added to the things you've listed is the general vocabulary and the ability to use it that is SO important. Children come to school and don't have a clue about things because no one has taken the time to talk to them.
I got The Briar King for my Kindle but haven't read it yet, now you have my curisoity up!
While I'm not perfect (Logan has had his arm jerked a few times), I actually try to plan trips to the grocery store when I'm not in a hurry, and I can make it a learning experience for Logan. He is so good in the store. He knows that if he is cooperative and obedient, he gets to choose a treat at the end. He has lost his treat a few times for misbehavior. That consequence has been a valuable teacher. I rarely have trouble with him. Outings to the store are one of our favorite activities.
I agree with you, and it makes me crazy to watch some of the interactions/no actions that I see in public. Some kids are so spoiled, and others are so neglected. I have no answers. Wish that I did.
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